Wicked Little Black Dresses

Like a lot of other wickedness, Chandru is behind this one. It all started when he sent Amit a link to Top 10 Affordable Little Black Dresses for Plus-Size Women, and started off a debate on big vs small -

Amit digs big -

Listen, big asses are glorious things. Abundant hips are joyous. No man has ever complained about a woman being too chesty. All you dieting women out there, on the orders of India Uncut, instantly go and consume a chocolate. And an ice-cream. A gellato, while you're at it. What's that, jalebi? Go right ahead! Let today be your Eat-For-Happiness Day.

- while Saket is all for small -

Melon sized boobs are so ugly. That is the reason I never liked Pamela Anderson (or Rakhi Sawant even). Thats the reason I don’t prefer porn made by Vivid Video. Big boobs mean distorted nipples. Lots of large chested women have all-aeriole and no nipple. And that sucks, seriously (Err… to be more precise, that is actually more difficult to suck). I think small but shapely breasts are yummy. Size can go to hell. As an afterthought, I think I would love to have sex with Kate Moss. Is there something wrong with that?

Well, small or big, a little black dress is a little black dress and a little black dress is a wicked thing indeed.

Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Breasts, Rakhi Sawant, Kate Moss, Pamela Anderson

War, Emergency, Nervous Sex & Wickedness

When war seems imminent, make love, although your children might use it against you!

It all started off when Amit blogged about a report in Daily Telegraph -

North Korea's nuclear test has boosted condom sales and bookings at South Korean "love" hotels," a newspaper said today.

- with a typically uncut -

When war seems imminent, make love.

"
As for blaming parents, The Devil would indeed like to attribute his (rather angelic) wickedness to his parents' hormonal haste - they had him exactly nine months after they were married!
"

Jai e-mailed to Amit saying -

Wasn't there a theory that many urban Indians (especially Delhi-based ones) born in 1976/1977 are warped and dysfunctional for life because their parents were having "nervous sex" when they were conceived - it being the time of the Emergency. I seek a lot of solace in this theory, otherwise I would have myself to blame for all that's wrong.

- and Amit blogged about it too -

Coming to think of it, I don't know any normal people born in 1976/77. To be entirely honest, though, I don't know that many normal people to begin with. Can we all blame it on our parents, you think?

Then Confused wrote to Amit -

What is this crap about people born in 1976-77? Especially about those born in 77, see how our arrival ended emergency, for fugs sake, give us some credit, will ya?

- and Amit responded with an update -

Ya, right. Like Indira Gandhi took one look at the millions of nervous little babies emerging into the world and said, "Enough, no emergency can be greater than this, let's call elections."

The Devil's thinks that both Jai and Confused might be right - sex during emergency was a very worthy pursuit, although it might have messed up the children. The Devil was born in 1979, after the emergency had ended, which is why The Devil is all angelic, and not like them!

As for blaming parents, The Devil would indeed like to attribute his (rather angelic) wickedness to his parents' hormonal haste - they had him exactly nine months after they were married!

Wicked Meter Rating: 8/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, War, Sex

What Not to Do When You Woo a Woman

What not to do when you woo a woman - see Silverine's classification of classroom and corporate romeos who are doomed to fail -

'The Traveling Romeo': Apparently…this guy is forever traveling and hence will drop by your seat often on the pretext of giving you Chocolates (from US/UK), Murukku (Chennai), Rasgulla (Kolkata) etc. You realize when you check the packet that they have been bought from Nilgiri’s Departmental Store. He keeps dropping in till you are gagging and probably throws his hand up in despair when you don’t return his affections. After which he probably writes to his mother "maa mein shaadi karne ke liye thaiiyaar hun".

And the fun continues in the comments section too with Iyer Eduction's 'Blogger Romeo' -

the one who keeps on asking and tormenting about your next post and how well you wrote the last one...

Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Men&Women, Romeo

Navel-Gazing or Sepia Reflections on Identity?

Anna - the original wicked desi woman at Sepia Mutiny - returns to form with a post on revealing the right amount of brown skin, being propositioned by strangers and finding comfort in (what else?) comfort food:

Though I have learned my lesson and no longer wear anything remotely cute while on 18th street, lest I encourage the invasive jerks who plague my new ‘hood with their assault attempts, all my modest, flesh-concealing layers were barely adequate for the autumn chill. “Ay, Mami…where you going? Come on in.” Three confused desi promoters speak Latin to me half-heartedly. It’s Sunday night and the strip is dead. I think they’re more bored than serious. I smile as I pass them, right before one of them asks the other, “Was she Indian?” That’s the question of the day, apparently.

I read Sepia Mutiny as much for the comments as for the posts themselves and here's Anna at her comment-warring best:

Anonymous: Oh no, more navel-gazing parading as reflections on identity. I'm outta here.

Anna: Oh, no! More craven commenting parading as wit, I'm so glad you're ANONYMOUS and sparing us your value-free presence.

Wicked Meter Rating: 8/10 (2 points for the comment section).

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Identity, ABCD

The Dilemma of Desi Dating

Taz from Sepia Mutiny leaves behind her 'lets analyze this' ways and writes two wicked posts on the dilemmas of desi dating (here and here):

As an ABCD youth one often had to deal with the projection by your peers that the only people you were expected to date is that one other desi in the school, even though you had nothing in common with them. Forget the fact that you weren’t allowed to date; if you had been, there was no one there for you to date, in the often confusing bi-cultural high school years. For me, this reminds me of senior
prom. And prom reminds me of how my mother wouldn’t let me go to prom unless I went with my gay guy friend because only then would she know nothing would happen to me on prom night. How’s that for bi-cultural confusion?

Much like the girls on Sex and the City would get together to dish, my girls and I will get together and dish about the dilemmas of Dating while Desi. In these talks, we girls will touch on questions such as, "Do you date desi only or non-desis or anyone but white boys? Do your parents sneak around behind your back with biodata and pictures? Do your parents give out your numbers to guys that call and don't leave messages - from obscure area codes? Do your parents even know that you date? Where do you find desi guys that haven't gone back to South Asia to get their bride already?" These questions (and more) are indicative to the plight of the single, 25 yr.+, independent-thinking desi girl.

And the wickedness continues in the comment section with the very auspicious first one:

Quit trying to be so profound!

Anna, you have competition now at the Sepia Mutiny stakes!

Wicked Meter Rating: 8/10 (2 points for the comment sections).

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Dating, ABCD