Picture this: a man and a woman, alone on a mountain ridge, both of them about to commit suicide. Phatichar writes a story with a wicked twist - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Fiction, Suicide, SupernaturalThey say nature looks its best from suicide points. And that's because it wants us to have a second thought about jumping and losing it all.
About the ending - plot spoiler follows - sometimes, all it takes is a push, doesn't it?
Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
| [+/-] |
Romance at Suicide Point |
Monday, November 13, 2006
| [+/-] |
The Devil Digs MTV Desi |
Launched in July 2005, MTV Desi is a music-based channel targeted at young South Asian Americans and those interested in desi pop culture. Now, The Devil lives in Mumbai, and hasn't watched MTV Desi, but it sounds decidedly wicked - The channel will not be merely a tweaked reproduction of MTV India. Rather, it will, like its target audience, be a hybrid, blending here and there and grappling with identity issues, mostly in English. Interspersed among Bollywood videos, electronic tabla music and English-Gujarati hip-hop, it will feature brief documentary clips profiling desis, comic skits about South Asian-American generational conflicts, interviews with bicultural artists and desi house parties, live. (link) Ego Magazine spoke to MTV Desi head Nusrat Durrani - MTV Desi launched with the kind of explosive charm that is so MTV, so New York, and so deliciously desi. An enormous screen in Times Square, New York, launched MTV's salute to South Asians with flashing images of music videos from top South Asians artists. It was almost a metaphor for the way that South Asian pop culture has been experienced in the US in the past - just glimpses of it. Some of it is chaotic, some is smooth and sexy, some is lost in translation. The countdown video to the launch was a metaphor for that experience. It ended in a lucid piece which was the launch of MTV Desi. Suddenly at 9pm, the world saw a music video by Rabbi- a Sikh popstar from India who doesn’t quite look like what you’d expect a popstar to look like. There he was, displayed in Times Square - in the center of the world. With MTV Desi, there’s a platform for him now. Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, MTV Desi, Niharika Desai, Dushyanti, Many Men, David Bowie, Lets Dance Remix, Nusrat Durrani, Tim Cash, Husna Hasan, Utkarsh Ambudkar
During one hour of MTV Desi, you might see the latest Bollywood music video, pop bhangra king Juggy D, Indian-fronted indie band Goldspot, and Pakistani rock band Junoon. Put them alongside American pop standards like Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake, and you’ve got a multi-ethnic, multi-genre playlist that befits the modern South Asian American.
While music is the primary focus of the programming, it’s not the sole driving force of the channel. MTV News provides desi-specific news segments for the channel, covering everything from South Asian American reactions to the immigration debate to the latest from desi stars like Kal Penn, M.I.A. and Jay Sean. (link)
So, how is MTV Desi different from MTV India?who seems to be perennially dressed in black, has a crop of unruly curly black hair, and eyes that seem to be slightly bored with ennui, till he flashes an amused smile if you say something utterly heretical
- about what MTV Desi means for desis -
MTV Desi chose its VJs to represent the diversity of the desi experience. VJ Niharika Desai, for instance, balances hosting countdowns from mendhi salons and interviewing desi superstars with editing serious documentaries. Niharika sounds really interesting and so does the story of how she became a MTV Desi VJ -"My parents didn’t raise me watching Hindi films and what not. So I implore you, please do something more than Bollywood." That’s what Niharika Desai told MTV World producers during her audition for the coveted role as a VJ on MTV Desi. Her honesty worked - Desai was singled out from hundreds of others, eventually landing the plum job.
Not that she doesn’t love Bollywood - she does. Desai was just hoping that MTV Desi would highlight all aspects of pop culture that interest South Asian Americans, not just the traditional desi staples. Her vision aligned with that of Nusrat Durrani, founder of MTV Desi and general manager and senior vice president of MTV World. And so Desai found a home.
Durrani's choice of Tim Cash, the youngest MTV VJ at 19, for the male anchor did not find much favour, by the way -Since Kash isn’t an American, I’m guessing Durrani didn’t find a male anchor he liked by launch time and had to go to the UK bench. I’m also guessing that he’s champing at the bit to get an American. But maybe he just wanted one of the anchors to be an old hand at MTV.
Since then, MTV Desi has added Husna Hasan -With her sweet exterior and princess smile Husna Hasan is a surprise attack who unleashes her sharp tongue and quick wit while interviewing celebs. She's a daddy's girl who fantasizes about playing drums in a rock band and a news junkie that keeps M.I.A. cranked up while reading the latest headlines. (link)
- and Utkarsh Ambudkar -Utkarsh is a Brooklynite of many talents; one day knocking out judges in various rap battles around the city, the next recording his debut ep Lo-fi Champ, and the very next traveling to Africa teaching beat-boxing to underprivileged children and students in Ghana. (link)
- to its lineup of VJs.
MTV Desi has played a role in promoting Desi musical talent; Sri Lankan-American singer-songwriter Dushyanti is a case in point -After writing and singing a poppy reggaeton song called 'Many Men', Dushyanthi rounded up professionals she’d met through her modeling career to shoot a video for the infectious single. She burned that video onto a disc and put it in the mail to the programming director at MTV Desi, who loved the it and put it into rotation. 'Many Men' soon climbed the charts to the number two spot on the MTV Desi countdown.
The Devil loved it a little less, though. In fact, The Devil found it to be decidedly mediocre -
MTV Desi has also dabbled in making desi remixes of non-Desi classics, like David Bowie's 'Let's Dance' (link via Ultrabrown)-With top-notch musicians, a visually stunning music video, a sprinkling of Desi flair, and Bowie's original creative spirit even David Bowie's own management team is calling it one of the finest Bowie remixes ever. If you like the original, and dig Bollywood sounds - you'll love the remix.
The Devil thinks that both the remix and the video works very well, albeit in a kitshy kind of way -
The Devil is wondering if there's a way of watching MTV Desi in Mumbai - and if there isn't - is it worth losing one's sanity over it. Anybody?
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
| [+/-] |
Horn OK Please, or The Devil Drives a Taxi |
After watching 'Horn OK Please' (via Ultrabrown and DesiPundit) The Devil wants to take a week's vacation from work and drive around a taxi in Mumbai! Such endless possibilities for wickedness! Jaaneman, main tumhe dil aur jaan se chaahta hoon. Tumhari yeh bhari aankh, yeh bhari naak, yeh bhare hoonth... main chumma lena chahta hoon! Arre, kahan se ja rahen hain aap? Idhar se jaa rahein hai ki udhar se jaa rahein hai. Aapko maloom nahin hai kya? Arre meter kahan hai dikhaiye, pahle. Hamein maloom nahin hai kya? Hamein pagal samajh ke rakha hai kya?'Horn OK Please' is a nine minute film inspired by director Joel Simon´s journey in the heat and frenzy of Mumbai. It follows a monotonous day in the life of an Indian taxi driver whose goal is to earn enough rupees to buy the air-conditioned taxi of his dreams. (link)
The film, with its multitude of curious characters, is a montage of the madness that is Mumbai. However, even in this treasure trove of wickedness, two scenes stand out -
A rather shady looking man woos a woman in the backseat of the taxi -
- but is frustrated when our taxi driver honks the horn at the crucial moment. Such a sadist!
(My life, my heart, I love you more than my life. Your full eyes, your full nose, your full lips... I want to kiss you!)
A shrill shrew of a woman endlessly cribs to our taxi driver -
- until she turns into a bird (hen?) in his imagination.
(Hey, where are you going from? Don't you know the way? Show me the meter first. Don't I know your ways? Do you think I am mad?)
Now, watch the wickedness below at MySpace -
- or head over to YouTube.
And, when you step into a taxi in Mumbai next time - take a long hard look at the driver - you might be in for a ride with The Devil!
Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.
Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Horn OK Please, Mumbai, Bombay, Taxi, Video
Saturday, November 11, 2006
| [+/-] |
Bald Bartenders, Ultra-Protective Fathers & Nelly Furtado's Duck Dance |
These two are as different as chalk and cheese. Rup (or, Rupinder Magon) has his roots in Punjabi spiritual music and Q (or, Qurram Hussain) started off with rock and alternative. Together, they make music as 'Josh' - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Josh, Nelly Furtado, Sukhbir, Desi Remix, Maneater, Powerless, Kabhi, Mahi Ve, Ban Far Ke, Mausam, Music Videos, Mumbai, Bombay
Josh's new song 'Mahi Ve' (from the just-released album 'Mausam') is out on YouTube now -
'Mahi Ve' is not 'Kabhi', but grows on you on repeated listening. The video is shot in Mumbai, and The Devil loved Q's wicked hairstyle, but hated the rather bizarre platform-on-the-sea dance sequence.
Here's 'Kabhi', by the way (mellow and smouldering at the same time, and the bald bartender is a nice touch) -
Josh has also done a few talked about remixes with Nelly Furtado, including 'Maneater' (Furtado dances like a duck and the video is more awkward than wicked, but the remix rocks! "Kudi Pataki!") -
- and 'Powerless' (Furtado is at her so-weird-that-she's-cute best and the video is uber-wicked) -
- and also one with Sukhbir - 'Ban Far Ke' (typical Bhangra video, but the ultra-protective father twist is funny) -
The Devil will be watching out for more from 'Josh'.
Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.
| [+/-] |
The Morality of Eating Beef & Raping Cows |
According to a Mid-Day report, the Guna police has booked three people under Section 377 (unnatural offences) of the Indian Penal Code, after arresting them for having sexual intercourse with a cow. Cow enthusiast and eminent blogger Amit says that raping a cow is only as immoral as eating beef - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Section 377, BestialityOf course, this case is somewhat complicated, because the cow cannot be said to have consented, or even to be capable of consent. As far as I am concerned, the only crime in this case is a property-rights violation, assuming that the cow did not belong to one of the three men in question. Even then, would you sue a guy who rubbed himself up against your car?
Et tu, Amit?
For cow lovers appalled at my inability to defend the rights of the cow in question, I can just shrug and look down in embarrassment. I'm a lapsed vegetarian, who believed that causing pain to animals was wrong. But I eat meat now, and I can come with 100,000 pathetic rationalisations for it. If the cow in this story was to come before me and look my way with accusing eyes, I'd simply say, "I'm sorry, but it wasn't me who did that to you, and it isn't you I'll be having for dinner tonight."
Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
| [+/-] |
The Papdits |
Guess what all the ABCD type blogs (Turbanhead, Nirali, Sepia Mutiny & Ultrabrown) are talking about today? The Papdits. Written by Ant Hines, the co-writer of 'Borat' and 'Da Ali G Show', The Papdits is finally out of two years of development hell and airing on CBS's Innertube streaming platform -A Kashmiri family is criss-crossing the US searching for the American dream with a camera crew on their tails. Gopi, the outspoken husband and father, believes America is the land of opportunity and sees himself as Donald Trump in an RV. Their future, he believes, is in crystal. He's just not quite sure what that is, or if it's legal. The family's first stop is Mount Ida, Arkansas, where wife Ritshi tries to become one of the local girls by hosting a neighbourhood Tupperware party, and son Bhaskar has some trouble handling a job as a caddy at the local country club. Can the Papdits make a life in America? Check it out. (link)
While The Devil couldn't watch the pilot episode - it's available for viewing only in the US - do watch it here and let The Devil know if you liked it.
Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
| [+/-] |
Taking Charge on the First Night |
Before a month-long bride-hunt trip to India, an ABCD wonders if it's OK to go all the way on the first night. Twisted DNA records the rather over-the-top macho-ness - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, ABCD, Arranged MarriageX: But what if she doesn’t want me to ask questions and look like I don’t know what I am doing? I think women like their men to be manly. Take charge. Decide things for them.
And, no, he didn't get any that night!
Me: They may want you to take charge and lead the way in matters such as taking the car out for servicing, but in just about everything else...
X: You are Americanized. Indian women are not like that. They respect the husband. They want the man to be in control. They don’t like sissies who can’t make up their minds. Take my word for it, I am going all the way that night.
Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.
| [+/-] |
His Father Wanted to Know What Clothes I Wear |
What do three supposedly intelligent, attractive, single women talk about when they meet up for coffee and conversation? Ex-boyfriends, prospective husbands (and their fathers), and bitching about their husbands-to-be, same place, same time, next year - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Dating, Arranged MarriageHis father wanted to know what clothes I wear.
What about burqas - The Devil wonders.
Did you tell him? Bikinis and shorts.
*dirty look* Hmph! We said salwar-kameezes and trousers to work.
I don’t believe this! You actually answered that?
Yeah. And then he wanted to know what I wear at home!!!
@#%$&%$
*disapproving look* I thought of saying - saree with a ghoonghat.
Wicked Meter Rating: 8/10.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
| [+/-] |
John Abraham in a Skirt |
The one in which John Abraham decides to go vegetarian and wild, wears a skirt and a crown, and looks like a wimp (via Bollywood Fugly)- Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, John Abraham, Wickedness
The Devil always suspected that John didn't wear the pants in his house, Bipasha did. Now there's proof.
Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
| [+/-] |
Desi Husband's American Booty Call |
Desi woman Jasmine calls 'The Super Snake Show' on Kiss FM to find out whether her husband Raj is cheating on her. Guess what? He is. Much amusement follows (audio clip)- Hi, this is Raj. How can I be of assistance to you? (when Snake calls him to offer free tickets to the Beyonce concert)
What a man! What an audio clip!
OK, put this message: "Dear Nikki. Thank you for showing me the ways of American love. You are my favorite booty call." She will understand what I mean.(when Snake asks him to put a message for his partner on the ticket)
Sir, there's someone on the line. It sounds somewhat like my wife. (when his wife asks him: "Raj! Who is Nikki?")
The American women, they use the mouth. You don't use the mouth. (when his wife asks him why)
No, the man does not use the mouth, the woman does. And twenty-five percent of the time, you are on the periodical anyway. (when his wife says that he doesn't use the mouth either)
But why are you laughing so hard? (to his wife, when he hears snake laugh in the background)
Yes, I'm in IT support department. (to his wife, when she says that she moved to the US for his career)
Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
| [+/-] |
Wicked Parties & Drunken Kissing |
The one in which eM throws a Halloween party, wears a black sheath and yellow wings, drinks way too much alcohol, kisses way too many men, makes way too many drunken calls, drags other drunken people onto the dance floor, and discovers a new way to write - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Halloween, Drunken PartieseM: (is FINALLY drunk)
There's always drunken kissing at The Devil's parties. The Devil must throw a party soon. The Devil must ask eM if she has any plans to visit Bombay.
eM: (is all wheeeeeeeeee!)
eM: (forgets the rest of the evening)
eM: (is kissed on the mouth by many people)
eM: (wonders why people keep kissing her on the mouth)
eM: (thinks maybe mouth kissing is the new cheek kiss)
eM: (doesn’t want to seem like she’s behind the times)
Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.
Monday, October 30, 2006
| [+/-] |
Breastfeeding The Little Devil |
All babies are born with invisible horns, but here's one who's wickedness itself. Sunayana breastfeeds The Little Devil and lives to tell the tale -For, of course, it wouldn't do to start sucking right away, only wimpy, goody-goody babies do that. So he whips his head away, licks everything in reach, pretends there’s no milk available and in general makes a nuisance of himself. Then he finally latches on and starts pulling in real earnest. When I say pull I also include chomping, sucking with the power of a mini Hoover and other related activities all guaranteed to cause the maximum pain one Wee B possibly can. To cap it all, the horror falls asleep with clockwork regularity ten minutes into a feed and then on, sucks lazily, at long intervals, for an hour or more. Let the woman wait.
The Devil, however, has a family audience and must not write wicked posts about breastfeeding, or have wicked thoughts about it. This post, therefore, will be visible only to those who have a wicked imagination!
Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
| [+/-] |
The Worst Backup Dancer Outfits in Bollywood |
Beth from Ugly, Ugly, Bollywood Fugly subjects 'Disco Dancer' - one of MithunDa's early masterpieces - to the DesiFugly scanner and comes up with shiny silver belts for men, golden Barbarella boots, black calf-high socks, and capes in all shapes and sizes - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Disco Dancer, Mithun Da
This might be jumping the gun, but I'm going to go ahead and award these pastel, be-cape-ed, black-socked monstrosities the Worst Backup Dancer Outfits in Bollywood, coordinated for both genders (so individual entries for female and male are still up for grabs)!
Any wicked nominations?
Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
| [+/-] |
Bus Rides & Multiple Orgasms |
Wicked woman Rimi pretends she is sleeping to eavesdrop on a conversation about multiple orgasms - Girl: I mean, I just cannot get off. What is wrong with me? What am I doing wrong?
The things people say in public places! And the last paragraph - too wicked!
Boy: Well... have you tried water?
... long (censored!) explanation follows...
Girl: Boy, you are so tutoring my boyfriend if I fall for those repressed clueless types. You have to!
Boy: Ahh, don’t worry. Anytime. Just give him my number. By the way, that girl over there, purple and black top. I could give her multiple. I can just tell. Just licking my way up from the base of her spine might do the trick. I just know it.
Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.
Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Sex, Multiple Orgasms
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
| [+/-] |
Welcome to the Laddoo Shop |
Inspired by 50 Cent's 'Candy Shop', a desi couple makes a music video called 'Laddoo Shop' -
Now, the guy is a geek, and not wicked at all, but the woman is hot hot hot!
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
| [+/-] |
All Blogging is Based on Deception |
Abhi from Sepia Mutiny writes that Sepia Mutiny is run on the lines of Sun-Tzu's teachings in 'Art of War' and Krishna's teachings in 'Bhagwad Gita' -- All blogging is based on deception. Hence, when able to blog, we must seem unable; when writing a post, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the readers believe we are far away; when far away, we must make them believe we are near. Hold out baits to entice the reader. Feign disorder, and crush them.
Even the men at Sepia Mutiny have become wicked!
- Those who consciousness is unified abandon all attachment to the results of their blog posts and attain supreme peace. But those whose desires are fragmented, who are selfishly attached to the comments generated by their work, are bound to the blog by every post they write.
Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
| [+/-] |
Shoe-Shopping & Sex |
M on her love-hate relationship with shoes -Someone once said shoes are like comfort food to a woman. Shoe shopping can be emotionally satisfying, psychologically therapeutic, self uplifting, mood elevating and can even improve your sex-life. Or so I have been told. And although I could never hold a candle to Claire or Carrie, needless to mention Imelda Marcos, there was a time, back in India, when I would go shopping just to find the perfect pair of shoes. And yes, it was everything shoe shopping is made out to be. That is... until I came to the US.
Now, M, if show-shopping can improve your sex-life, and you haven't been doing it, have you been doing it? (Oops! Too wicked!)
Wicked Meter Rating: 5/10.
| [+/-] |
On Short Skirts In Crowded Kolkata Buses |
Rimi lists down the much ignored but extremely trying travails of the somewhat sensitive Calcutta commuter - The Culture Squad, Ranters, Sympathic Aunties. The confrontational "Why is your skirt so short?", the fakely sweet "Do you NEVER wear salwaar kurtas?", people who talk too loudly, people who will insist on telling you everything about themselves and people who assume you must be a miserable wretch and ask you unburden on them.
- and also mentions in passing that she has had men try to jerk off against her in a crowded bus.
One question though - why wear a short skirt in a crowded bus in Kolkata? Short skirt? Crowded bus? Kolkata? Duh?
Not that I have anything against short skirts. In fact, I whole-heartedly approve of short skirts, especially when they are so short that the stilettos they are worn with are longer than them.
Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.
