How to Spell Sloppily

India's biggest bookstore chain cannot spell right! PrufrockTwo posts pictures of misspelled author's names at Crossword Juhu.

Amit is at his sarcastic best in a related post -

Any young, minimally educated Indian can now get easy jobs in the BPO industry that pay far more than what Crossword can afford for its sales staff. As a result, Sriram used to find it almost impossible to hire attendants who actually knew anything about books. Now it would seem that Crossword can't even hire managers who know how to spell. Sriram's strategy was to make up for this with ambience and a friendly environment at his stores. It works because most of his customers presumably don't care about spellings, and don't want the breadth and depth on display that PrufrockTwo and I would wish for.

I'm sure Mr. Salman Rushidie will not be very amused by his new spelling!

Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Sarcasm, Books

The Devil & The Deity

First, King Emma at Ultrabrown wrote a post about Brazilian artist Roberto Custodio's rather risque portrayal of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, then Beau Peep pointed out the use of Kali in a Bayer mosquito repellent ad, prompting The Devil to do a post on wicked depictions of Hindu deities in popular culture.

To start with, The Devil thinks that the Bayer ad is quite cool and not at all offensive -

Here the goddess has been depicted with several arms as she has been depicted traditionally but the second frame shows that when Bayer’s effect comes into play the goddess does not need several arms to keep mosquito away and your hands are free. (link)

The Roberto Custodio paintings, however, are more tricky.

Well, methinks Krishna is definitely in the mood and Shiva, whose face might possibly belong to Disney’s Aladdin, is already getting his groove on with that lingam. (link)

The male Gods are indeed presented as -

light-skinned, muscle-bound and possibly, horny, cutouts (link)

Shiva

Krishna

Hanuman

- and the female Goddesses look like ennui-laden divas -

Radha

Saraswati

Roberto Custodio is a lucky man - the people at Hindu Janajagruti Samiti have not spammed him yet. Robin Foley, an American sculptor who specializes in something called 'soft sculpture', was not as lucky when her semi-nude Durga doll became the center of controversy -

Robin Foley was not ready to withdraw the images and instead threatened to complain to the FBI. The threat did not intimidate the protestors; they replied back saying "You are free to call the entire US army" and "FBI is not greater than Goddess Durga and Lord Ganesha". Due to increasing protests Robin Foley finally removed the main image of Goddess Durga from her website and stated that she will not distribute the images of Goddess Durga even personally. (link)

Do note that Foley has put up nude images of Durga instead of the Durga doll, presumably to protest against the protestors.

The Hindu Janajagruti Samiti website, by the way, is a treasure-trove of such controversial depictions of deities. The Devil thinks that they define offensiveness so broadly that their protests have no meaning. They also have absolutely no sense of humour.

In some cases, though, such depictions are indeed difficult to defend - US artist Teresa Bergen's depiction of Shiva, Brahma, Narad and Nataraja as animals, for instance (link) -

- or paintings by Nasik based artist Dhyanesh Sonar, which depict Radha and Krishna in various amorous situations (link) -



- although, when you do think of it, when did Gods and Goddesses in India become asexual?

At the other extreme, The Devil thinks that the Durga poster displayed at an Athens bar is kitschy pop art at worst, and not really offensive (link) -

- and the International Herald Tribune's Bushiva cartoon (link) and MidDay's Osama Bin Ganesha cartoons are truely hilarious (link).

The Devil is also wondering what to make of Virgin Comic's Devi -

An avatar conceived by the Gods once again to stop the renegade God Bala, Devi is a sleek and sexy seductress that has been dispatched to the modern city of Sitapur on her latest quest. Now incarnated into a human vessel however, this Devi starts to discover a longing that none before her have ever experienced, the desire to be human. (link)

Devi’s fascination for Rahul, her increasing desire not to save humanity but to save him, not to exorcise Sitapur’s demons, but to exorcise his, now fuels her quest. This is not the story of a girl who wanted to be the Goddess but rather the Goddess who longed to be a girl. (link)

The Devil thinks Devi is uber-cool but Hindu Janajagruti Samiti might not agree, because, as King Emma says -

Seriously, who doesn’t want to see a woman share title with the mother of all Goddesses while wearing leather and falling in love with alcoholics? (link)

And finally, what about the MTV Desi Goddess? Is it sacrilege too?

Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Popular Culture, Sacrilege, Devi, Krishna, Shiva, Hanuman, Radha, Saraswati, Ganesha, George Bush, Osama Bin Laden, Virgin Comics

Searching for Janina, Part One

The Devil first met Janina, aka Ms Dewey, at Sepia Mutiny, when Abhi confessed his undying devotion to her -

I have found comfort in the arms of Ms. Dewey. She is the strong, beautiful, witty, articulate (sometimes verbose), and smarter-than-me desi woman I’ve been searching for my whole life. If any of you fools linger too long on her site I will hurt you.

The Devil spent some time with Ms. Dewey today and was much impressed. She is all that Abhi said she was, and more.

The first thing you notice about Ms. Dewey is that she has a low boredom threshold.


When you don't type in something for a while, she looks bored, then leans forward and knocks on the screen -

Knock, knock, knock. Anyone there?

If that doesn't work, she points to the search box -

Helloooo! Type something here!

If even that doesn't work, she throws a lasso - or a bait - at you and pulls you in (as if you were not more than willing to walk behind her voluntarily)!


Ms Dewey is also very ambitious -

Keep asking questions. The more you ask, the more I know. And soon I will rule the world. Hahahahahahahaha... Hmmm... Ahm...

Ms Dewey doesn't only have a mind of her own, she is also willing to speak her mind. Try typing in "Yo Mama" or "Ho" -



Otherwise, Ms. Dewey has about half a dozen wicked responses to your every query.

Ask her "Are you bored?" and she is dismissive -

A1. (Appears wearing glasses and writes on a clipboard) And how does that make you feel?
A2. (Yawns) Last time I was this bored, I didn't even exist!
A3. You know, you can ask me anything at all, and you are going to waste it with a question like that. Tchch.
A4. You're kidding, right? Hey Ricardo, come have a look at what this guy did a search for!
A5. Somebody needs to get a hobby, like, let's say, something interesting.

Take a chance and say "Kiss me!" and she'll Almost flirt back with you -

A1. I'm sorry. Did you think this was girlwhodoeswhateveryouwant.com? Because that is simply not the case.
A2. (The screen dims down) You know, we are having such a nice time and then you go and say something like that. Behave yourself and we can continue. If not... Now, do we have an understanding?
A3. I bet you say that to all the many many many virtual girls you have met online.
A4. It's time to get naked. Not me silly, you!
A5. I'm not drunk enough to listen to that right now.

Test the limits a little with "Dress up as a nurse!" and she'll behave somewhat weirdly -

A1. (It starts raining) Oh, oh no! This is couture, people!
A2. (Reads a book) They say, don't judge a book by its cover, unless of course you are talking about me, in which case your judgement will be 100% on target.
A3. So, let me get this straight. If I gained 40 pounds and dressed like a man, the academy will come calling! Ricardo, bring on the stacked steak-burger.
A4. Method acting is another way of saying "Show up at the set drunk and do whatever the fuck you want". Well, it works for me.
A5. (Flashes a pistol) I could finish you off now, but it's only the second reel. (Smiles) I had a boyfriend who liked me to say that.

Now, really push the envelope by asking her to "Take off your clothes!" and she'll suprprise you -

A1. Ok, take off your clothes. All of them. Yes, the socks too. Now, fold them neatly and toss it all out the window, ok? There. (pushes a red button to call the cops.)
A2. Well, maybe just this once (takes off two buttons teasingly before a 'video buffering' message shows up)
A3. I'm pretty sure that you can be arrested in 38 countries for just thinking something like that.
A4. Porn? On the internet? Heh! You're kidding, right?
A5. Hey, if you can get inside your computer, you can do whatever you want to me!

But ask her someting innocuous like "Eat a banana!" and she... well... misunderstands you...

A1. You know what they say about dating these days - it's a jungle out there. Sadly, from here it looks as if your jungle has been clear cut, South American style.
A2. Nerd looking through a pub window at people who actually have a life.
A3. Another guy asked me something like that once. I don't think they ever found him.
A4. There are farm animals who don't do that kind of a thing. What makes you think I would?
A5. (Slowly unskins a banana and eats it) What? I'm Hypoglycaemic!

Well, women will be women, after all!

In an interview with Nirali Magazine, Janina says -

I’m definitely not Ms. Dewey. She was just words on a paper in an audition. I think when I auditioned, she was much more normal. When I got there she just escalated into this uber-snotty, I’m-not-amused character.

When asked about her favorite responses as Ms Dewey, Janina replies -

I love the cowboy western — have you seen that one? I love the gun one, she’s got a bunch of gun responses. She has manservant, and his name is Ricardo — I had so much fun with my manservant. He just happens to be this beautiful model. He ended up being the sweetest guy, and just up for anything.

Ms Dewey is really quite something, isn't she? But, while Ms. Dewey might have all the answers at her fingertips, The Devil found out that Janina Gavankar is the real deal.

Coming up next - Searching for Janina, Part Two.

Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Ms Dewey, Janina Gavankar

The Devil Digs MTV Desi

Launched in July 2005, MTV Desi is a music-based channel targeted at young South Asian Americans and those interested in desi pop culture. Now, The Devil lives in Mumbai, and hasn't watched MTV Desi, but it sounds decidedly wicked -

During one hour of MTV Desi, you might see the latest Bollywood music video, pop bhangra king Juggy D, Indian-fronted indie band Goldspot, and Pakistani rock band Junoon. Put them alongside American pop standards like Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake, and you’ve got a multi-ethnic, multi-genre playlist that befits the modern South Asian American.

While music is the primary focus of the programming, it’s not the sole driving force of the channel. MTV News provides desi-specific news segments for the channel, covering everything from South Asian American reactions to the immigration debate to the latest from desi stars like Kal Penn, M.I.A. and Jay Sean. (link)

So, how is MTV Desi different from MTV India?

The channel will not be merely a tweaked reproduction of MTV India. Rather, it will, like its target audience, be a hybrid, blending here and there and grappling with identity issues, mostly in English.

Interspersed among Bollywood videos, electronic tabla music and English-Gujarati hip-hop, it will feature brief documentary clips profiling desis, comic skits about South Asian-American generational conflicts, interviews with bicultural artists and desi house parties, live. (link)

Ego Magazine spoke to MTV Desi head Nusrat Durrani -

who seems to be perennially dressed in black, has a crop of unruly curly black hair, and eyes that seem to be slightly bored with ennui, till he flashes an amused smile if you say something utterly heretical

- about what MTV Desi means for desis -

MTV Desi launched with the kind of explosive charm that is so MTV, so New York, and so deliciously desi. An enormous screen in Times Square, New York, launched MTV's salute to South Asians with flashing images of music videos from top South Asians artists.

It was almost a metaphor for the way that South Asian pop culture has been experienced in the US in the past - just glimpses of it. Some of it is chaotic, some is smooth and sexy, some is lost in translation. The countdown video to the launch was a metaphor for that experience.

It ended in a lucid piece which was the launch of MTV Desi. Suddenly at 9pm, the world saw a music video by Rabbi- a Sikh popstar from India who doesn’t quite look like what you’d expect a popstar to look like. There he was, displayed in Times Square - in the center of the world. With MTV Desi, there’s a platform for him now.

MTV Desi chose its VJs to represent the diversity of the desi experience. VJ Niharika Desai, for instance, balances hosting countdowns from mendhi salons and interviewing desi superstars with editing serious documentaries. Niharika sounds really interesting and so does the story of how she became a MTV Desi VJ -

"My parents didn’t raise me watching Hindi films and what not. So I implore you, please do something more than Bollywood." That’s what Niharika Desai told MTV World producers during her audition for the coveted role as a VJ on MTV Desi. Her honesty worked - Desai was singled out from hundreds of others, eventually landing the plum job.

Not that she doesn’t love Bollywood - she does. Desai was just hoping that MTV Desi would highlight all aspects of pop culture that interest South Asian Americans, not just the traditional desi staples. Her vision aligned with that of Nusrat Durrani, founder of MTV Desi and general manager and senior vice president of MTV World. And so Desai found a home.

Durrani's choice of Tim Cash, the youngest MTV VJ at 19, for the male anchor did not find much favour, by the way -

Since Kash isn’t an American, I’m guessing Durrani didn’t find a male anchor he liked by launch time and had to go to the UK bench. I’m also guessing that he’s champing at the bit to get an American. But maybe he just wanted one of the anchors to be an old hand at MTV.

Since then, MTV Desi has added Husna Hasan -

With her sweet exterior and princess smile Husna Hasan is a surprise attack who unleashes her sharp tongue and quick wit while interviewing celebs. She's a daddy's girl who fantasizes about playing drums in a rock band and a news junkie that keeps M.I.A. cranked up while reading the latest headlines. (link)

- and Utkarsh Ambudkar -

Utkarsh is a Brooklynite of many talents; one day knocking out judges in various rap battles around the city, the next recording his debut ep Lo-fi Champ, and the very next traveling to Africa teaching beat-boxing to underprivileged children and students in Ghana. (link)

- to its lineup of VJs.

MTV Desi has played a role in promoting Desi musical talent; Sri Lankan-American singer-songwriter Dushyanti is a case in point -

After writing and singing a poppy reggaeton song called 'Many Men', Dushyanthi rounded up professionals she’d met through her modeling career to shoot a video for the infectious single. She burned that video onto a disc and put it in the mail to the programming director at MTV Desi, who loved the it and put it into rotation. 'Many Men' soon climbed the charts to the number two spot on the MTV Desi countdown.

The Devil loved it a little less, though. In fact, The Devil found it to be decidedly mediocre -



MTV Desi has also dabbled in making desi remixes of non-Desi classics, like David Bowie's 'Let's Dance' (link via Ultrabrown)-

With top-notch musicians, a visually stunning music video, a sprinkling of Desi flair, and Bowie's original creative spirit even David Bowie's own management team is calling it one of the finest Bowie remixes ever. If you like the original, and dig Bollywood sounds - you'll love the remix.

The Devil thinks that both the remix and the video works very well, albeit in a kitshy kind of way -



The Devil is wondering if there's a way of watching MTV Desi in Mumbai - and if there isn't - is it worth losing one's sanity over it. Anybody?

Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, MTV Desi, Niharika Desai, Dushyanti, Many Men, David Bowie, Lets Dance Remix, Nusrat Durrani, Tim Cash, Husna Hasan, Utkarsh Ambudkar

John Abraham in a Skirt

The one in which John Abraham decides to go vegetarian and wild, wears a skirt and a crown, and looks like a wimp (via Bollywood Fugly)-


The Devil always suspected that John didn't wear the pants in his house, Bipasha did. Now there's proof.

Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, John Abraham, Wickedness

The Worst Backup Dancer Outfits in Bollywood

Beth from Ugly, Ugly, Bollywood Fugly subjects 'Disco Dancer' - one of MithunDa's early masterpieces - to the DesiFugly scanner and comes up with shiny silver belts for men, golden Barbarella boots, black calf-high socks, and capes in all shapes and sizes -

This might be jumping the gun, but I'm going to go ahead and award these pastel, be-cape-ed, black-socked monstrosities the Worst Backup Dancer Outfits in Bollywood, coordinated for both genders (so individual entries for female and male are still up for grabs)!

Any wicked nominations?

Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Disco Dancer, Mithun Da

Halloween Horror & Mangal Pandya

Imagine this... The late 60s... You are a desi woman, newly married and new to America. You are home alone with your baby daughter one night when the doorbell rings...

She looked through the peephole, Jegasothy says, and saw a "really scary person standing outside. So I didn't open the door."

But the ringing didn't stop. One by one, people rang her doorbell. Then a whole group rang, and stood outside, Jegasothy says, "screaming at me through the door."

Abhi at Sepia Mutiny builds upto Halloween with a funny anecdote and some wicked costume ideas, including a decidedly delectable 'Mangal Pandya' -

The Devil, by the way, is looking forward to his very own Halloween party tonight, and he will be dressed as (what else?) The Devil.

Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Halloween, Mangal Pandey

Alpana Pours Some, Then Bites Some Too

Manish from Ultrabrown profiles Alpana Singh - 29 year old Fijian desi, college-dropout, could-be US Airforce pilot, master somelier and author of 'Alpana Pours' -

Basically, it’s like a chick-book about dating meets a wine book. For example, wine tasting is kind of like speed dating. You go in, and you find the feel for the event, understand that you’ll spend 30 seconds for each wine and feel the impression for yes or no… Wine tastings are like that. You get that general impression; some you know right away that you’re not going to like, others you’re thinking, ‘maybe I’ll walk around with you for a bit,’ and others you’re exclaiming, ‘Slam dunk, where do I buy this?’

While the profile itself is a series of excerpts and not quite wicked, the title ('Alpana Bites') and the photograph definitely are -

Wicked Meter Rating: 5/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Alpana Singh, Alpana Pours

Tie-Inside-The-Shirt Fugliness

DesiDancer takes potshots at the fugliness of 'Don' - Shahrukh's tie-inside the shirt look, Kareena's gold Helen-wannabe costume, Isha's lampshade-like black dress and more (link via Maria) -
While the tie-inside-the-shirt look is decidedly fugly, The Devil did find a wicked Halloween costume idea in the movie - the velvet (!?!) black suit-thing here!

Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Movies, Don