If you thought The Office Diwali Song was wicked, wait till you watch The Simpsons Bollywood Song from the 'Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bangalore' episode (via Kamla Bhatt and Naachgaana) - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, The Simpsons, Bollywood
Now, how wicked is that?
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
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The Simpsons Bollywood Song |
Thursday, November 16, 2006
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The Devil & The Deity |
First, King Emma at Ultrabrown wrote a post about Brazilian artist Roberto Custodio's rather risque portrayal of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, then Beau Peep pointed out the use of Kali in a Bayer mosquito repellent ad, prompting The Devil to do a post on wicked depictions of Hindu deities in popular culture.
To start with, The Devil thinks that the Bayer ad is quite cool and not at all offensive -Here the goddess has been depicted with several arms as she has been depicted traditionally but the second frame shows that when Bayer’s effect comes into play the goddess does not need several arms to keep mosquito away and your hands are free. (link)
The Roberto Custodio paintings, however, are more tricky.Well, methinks Krishna is definitely in the mood and Shiva, whose face might possibly belong to Disney’s Aladdin, is already getting his groove on with that lingam. (link)
The male Gods are indeed presented as -light-skinned, muscle-bound and possibly, horny, cutouts (link)
Shiva
Krishna
Hanuman- and the female Goddesses look like ennui-laden divas -
Radha
SaraswatiRoberto Custodio is a lucky man - the people at Hindu Janajagruti Samiti have not spammed him yet. Robin Foley, an American sculptor who specializes in something called 'soft sculpture', was not as lucky when her semi-nude Durga doll became the center of controversy -
Robin Foley was not ready to withdraw the images and instead threatened to complain to the FBI. The threat did not intimidate the protestors; they replied back saying "You are free to call the entire US army" and "FBI is not greater than Goddess Durga and Lord Ganesha". Due to increasing protests Robin Foley finally removed the main image of Goddess Durga from her website and stated that she will not distribute the images of Goddess Durga even personally. (link)
Do note that Foley has put up nude images of Durga instead of the Durga doll, presumably to protest against the protestors.
The Hindu Janajagruti Samiti website, by the way, is a treasure-trove of such controversial depictions of deities. The Devil thinks that they define offensiveness so broadly that their protests have no meaning. They also have absolutely no sense of humour.
In some cases, though, such depictions are indeed difficult to defend - US artist Teresa Bergen's depiction of Shiva, Brahma, Narad and Nataraja as animals, for instance (link) -


- or paintings by Nasik based artist Dhyanesh Sonar, which depict Radha and Krishna in various amorous situations (link) -


- although, when you do think of it, when did Gods and Goddesses in India become asexual?
At the other extreme, The Devil thinks that the Durga poster displayed at an Athens bar is kitschy pop art at worst, and not really offensive (link) -
- and the International Herald Tribune's Bushiva cartoon (link) and MidDay's Osama Bin Ganesha cartoons are truely hilarious (link).
The Devil is also wondering what to make of Virgin Comic's Devi - An avatar conceived by the Gods once again to stop the renegade God Bala, Devi is a sleek and sexy seductress that has been dispatched to the modern city of Sitapur on her latest quest. Now incarnated into a human vessel however, this Devi starts to discover a longing that none before her have ever experienced, the desire to be human. (link)
Devi’s fascination for Rahul, her increasing desire not to save humanity but to save him, not to exorcise Sitapur’s demons, but to exorcise his, now fuels her quest. This is not the story of a girl who wanted to be the Goddess but rather the Goddess who longed to be a girl. (link)
The Devil thinks Devi is uber-cool but Hindu Janajagruti Samiti might not agree, because, as King Emma says -Seriously, who doesn’t want to see a woman share title with the mother of all Goddesses while wearing leather and falling in love with alcoholics? (link)And finally, what about the MTV Desi Goddess? Is it sacrilege too?
Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Popular Culture, Sacrilege, Devi, Krishna, Shiva, Hanuman, Radha, Saraswati, Ganesha, George Bush, Osama Bin Laden, Virgin Comics
Monday, November 13, 2006
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Searching for Janina, Part One |
The Devil first met Janina, aka Ms Dewey, at Sepia Mutiny, when Abhi confessed his undying devotion to her - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Ms Dewey, Janina GavankarI have found comfort in the arms of Ms. Dewey. She is the strong, beautiful, witty, articulate (sometimes verbose), and smarter-than-me desi woman I’ve been searching for my whole life. If any of you fools linger too long on her site I will hurt you.

The Devil spent some time with Ms. Dewey today and was much impressed. She is all that Abhi said she was, and more.
The first thing you notice about Ms. Dewey is that she has a low boredom threshold.
When you don't type in something for a while, she looks bored, then leans forward and knocks on the screen -Knock, knock, knock. Anyone there?
If that doesn't work, she points to the search box -Helloooo! Type something here!
If even that doesn't work, she throws a lasso - or a bait - at you and pulls you in (as if you were not more than willing to walk behind her voluntarily)!
Ms Dewey is also very ambitious -Keep asking questions. The more you ask, the more I know. And soon I will rule the world. Hahahahahahahaha... Hmmm... Ahm...
Ms Dewey doesn't only have a mind of her own, she is also willing to speak her mind. Try typing in "Yo Mama" or "Ho" -
Otherwise, Ms. Dewey has about half a dozen wicked responses to your every query.
Ask her "Are you bored?" and she is dismissive -A1. (Appears wearing glasses and writes on a clipboard) And how does that make you feel?
Take a chance and say "Kiss me!" and she'll Almost flirt back with you -
A2. (Yawns) Last time I was this bored, I didn't even exist!
A3. You know, you can ask me anything at all, and you are going to waste it with a question like that. Tchch.
A4. You're kidding, right? Hey Ricardo, come have a look at what this guy did a search for!
A5. Somebody needs to get a hobby, like, let's say, something interesting.A1. I'm sorry. Did you think this was girlwhodoeswhateveryouwant.com? Because that is simply not the case.
Test the limits a little with "Dress up as a nurse!" and she'll behave somewhat weirdly -
A2. (The screen dims down) You know, we are having such a nice time and then you go and say something like that. Behave yourself and we can continue. If not... Now, do we have an understanding?
A3. I bet you say that to all the many many many virtual girls you have met online.
A4. It's time to get naked. Not me silly, you!
A5. I'm not drunk enough to listen to that right now.A1. (It starts raining) Oh, oh no! This is couture, people!
Now, really push the envelope by asking her to "Take off your clothes!" and she'll suprprise you -
A2. (Reads a book) They say, don't judge a book by its cover, unless of course you are talking about me, in which case your judgement will be 100% on target.
A3. So, let me get this straight. If I gained 40 pounds and dressed like a man, the academy will come calling! Ricardo, bring on the stacked steak-burger.
A4. Method acting is another way of saying "Show up at the set drunk and do whatever the fuck you want". Well, it works for me.
A5. (Flashes a pistol) I could finish you off now, but it's only the second reel. (Smiles) I had a boyfriend who liked me to say that.A1. Ok, take off your clothes. All of them. Yes, the socks too. Now, fold them neatly and toss it all out the window, ok? There. (pushes a red button to call the cops.)
A2. Well, maybe just this once (takes off two buttons teasingly before a 'video buffering' message shows up)
A3. I'm pretty sure that you can be arrested in 38 countries for just thinking something like that.
A4. Porn? On the internet? Heh! You're kidding, right?
A5. Hey, if you can get inside your computer, you can do whatever you want to me!
But ask her someting innocuous like "Eat a banana!" and she... well... misunderstands you...A1. You know what they say about dating these days - it's a jungle out there. Sadly, from here it looks as if your jungle has been clear cut, South American style.
A2. Nerd looking through a pub window at people who actually have a life.
A3. Another guy asked me something like that once. I don't think they ever found him.
A4. There are farm animals who don't do that kind of a thing. What makes you think I would?
A5. (Slowly unskins a banana and eats it) What? I'm Hypoglycaemic!
Well, women will be women, after all!
In an interview with Nirali Magazine, Janina says -I’m definitely not Ms. Dewey. She was just words on a paper in an audition. I think when I auditioned, she was much more normal. When I got there she just escalated into this uber-snotty, I’m-not-amused character.
When asked about her favorite responses as Ms Dewey, Janina replies -I love the cowboy western — have you seen that one? I love the gun one, she’s got a bunch of gun responses. She has manservant, and his name is Ricardo — I had so much fun with my manservant. He just happens to be this beautiful model. He ended up being the sweetest guy, and just up for anything.



Ms Dewey is really quite something, isn't she? But, while Ms. Dewey might have all the answers at her fingertips, The Devil found out that Janina Gavankar is the real deal.
Coming up next - Searching for Janina, Part Two.
Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.
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The Devil Digs MTV Desi |
Launched in July 2005, MTV Desi is a music-based channel targeted at young South Asian Americans and those interested in desi pop culture. Now, The Devil lives in Mumbai, and hasn't watched MTV Desi, but it sounds decidedly wicked - The channel will not be merely a tweaked reproduction of MTV India. Rather, it will, like its target audience, be a hybrid, blending here and there and grappling with identity issues, mostly in English. Interspersed among Bollywood videos, electronic tabla music and English-Gujarati hip-hop, it will feature brief documentary clips profiling desis, comic skits about South Asian-American generational conflicts, interviews with bicultural artists and desi house parties, live. (link) Ego Magazine spoke to MTV Desi head Nusrat Durrani - MTV Desi launched with the kind of explosive charm that is so MTV, so New York, and so deliciously desi. An enormous screen in Times Square, New York, launched MTV's salute to South Asians with flashing images of music videos from top South Asians artists. It was almost a metaphor for the way that South Asian pop culture has been experienced in the US in the past - just glimpses of it. Some of it is chaotic, some is smooth and sexy, some is lost in translation. The countdown video to the launch was a metaphor for that experience. It ended in a lucid piece which was the launch of MTV Desi. Suddenly at 9pm, the world saw a music video by Rabbi- a Sikh popstar from India who doesn’t quite look like what you’d expect a popstar to look like. There he was, displayed in Times Square - in the center of the world. With MTV Desi, there’s a platform for him now. Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, MTV Desi, Niharika Desai, Dushyanti, Many Men, David Bowie, Lets Dance Remix, Nusrat Durrani, Tim Cash, Husna Hasan, Utkarsh Ambudkar
During one hour of MTV Desi, you might see the latest Bollywood music video, pop bhangra king Juggy D, Indian-fronted indie band Goldspot, and Pakistani rock band Junoon. Put them alongside American pop standards like Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake, and you’ve got a multi-ethnic, multi-genre playlist that befits the modern South Asian American.
While music is the primary focus of the programming, it’s not the sole driving force of the channel. MTV News provides desi-specific news segments for the channel, covering everything from South Asian American reactions to the immigration debate to the latest from desi stars like Kal Penn, M.I.A. and Jay Sean. (link)
So, how is MTV Desi different from MTV India?who seems to be perennially dressed in black, has a crop of unruly curly black hair, and eyes that seem to be slightly bored with ennui, till he flashes an amused smile if you say something utterly heretical
- about what MTV Desi means for desis -
MTV Desi chose its VJs to represent the diversity of the desi experience. VJ Niharika Desai, for instance, balances hosting countdowns from mendhi salons and interviewing desi superstars with editing serious documentaries. Niharika sounds really interesting and so does the story of how she became a MTV Desi VJ -"My parents didn’t raise me watching Hindi films and what not. So I implore you, please do something more than Bollywood." That’s what Niharika Desai told MTV World producers during her audition for the coveted role as a VJ on MTV Desi. Her honesty worked - Desai was singled out from hundreds of others, eventually landing the plum job.
Not that she doesn’t love Bollywood - she does. Desai was just hoping that MTV Desi would highlight all aspects of pop culture that interest South Asian Americans, not just the traditional desi staples. Her vision aligned with that of Nusrat Durrani, founder of MTV Desi and general manager and senior vice president of MTV World. And so Desai found a home.
Durrani's choice of Tim Cash, the youngest MTV VJ at 19, for the male anchor did not find much favour, by the way -Since Kash isn’t an American, I’m guessing Durrani didn’t find a male anchor he liked by launch time and had to go to the UK bench. I’m also guessing that he’s champing at the bit to get an American. But maybe he just wanted one of the anchors to be an old hand at MTV.
Since then, MTV Desi has added Husna Hasan -With her sweet exterior and princess smile Husna Hasan is a surprise attack who unleashes her sharp tongue and quick wit while interviewing celebs. She's a daddy's girl who fantasizes about playing drums in a rock band and a news junkie that keeps M.I.A. cranked up while reading the latest headlines. (link)
- and Utkarsh Ambudkar -Utkarsh is a Brooklynite of many talents; one day knocking out judges in various rap battles around the city, the next recording his debut ep Lo-fi Champ, and the very next traveling to Africa teaching beat-boxing to underprivileged children and students in Ghana. (link)
- to its lineup of VJs.
MTV Desi has played a role in promoting Desi musical talent; Sri Lankan-American singer-songwriter Dushyanti is a case in point -After writing and singing a poppy reggaeton song called 'Many Men', Dushyanthi rounded up professionals she’d met through her modeling career to shoot a video for the infectious single. She burned that video onto a disc and put it in the mail to the programming director at MTV Desi, who loved the it and put it into rotation. 'Many Men' soon climbed the charts to the number two spot on the MTV Desi countdown.
The Devil loved it a little less, though. In fact, The Devil found it to be decidedly mediocre -
MTV Desi has also dabbled in making desi remixes of non-Desi classics, like David Bowie's 'Let's Dance' (link via Ultrabrown)-With top-notch musicians, a visually stunning music video, a sprinkling of Desi flair, and Bowie's original creative spirit even David Bowie's own management team is calling it one of the finest Bowie remixes ever. If you like the original, and dig Bollywood sounds - you'll love the remix.
The Devil thinks that both the remix and the video works very well, albeit in a kitshy kind of way -
The Devil is wondering if there's a way of watching MTV Desi in Mumbai - and if there isn't - is it worth losing one's sanity over it. Anybody?
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
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Horn OK Please, or The Devil Drives a Taxi |
After watching 'Horn OK Please' (via Ultrabrown and DesiPundit) The Devil wants to take a week's vacation from work and drive around a taxi in Mumbai! Such endless possibilities for wickedness! Jaaneman, main tumhe dil aur jaan se chaahta hoon. Tumhari yeh bhari aankh, yeh bhari naak, yeh bhare hoonth... main chumma lena chahta hoon! Arre, kahan se ja rahen hain aap? Idhar se jaa rahein hai ki udhar se jaa rahein hai. Aapko maloom nahin hai kya? Arre meter kahan hai dikhaiye, pahle. Hamein maloom nahin hai kya? Hamein pagal samajh ke rakha hai kya?'Horn OK Please' is a nine minute film inspired by director Joel Simon´s journey in the heat and frenzy of Mumbai. It follows a monotonous day in the life of an Indian taxi driver whose goal is to earn enough rupees to buy the air-conditioned taxi of his dreams. (link)
The film, with its multitude of curious characters, is a montage of the madness that is Mumbai. However, even in this treasure trove of wickedness, two scenes stand out -
A rather shady looking man woos a woman in the backseat of the taxi -
- but is frustrated when our taxi driver honks the horn at the crucial moment. Such a sadist!
(My life, my heart, I love you more than my life. Your full eyes, your full nose, your full lips... I want to kiss you!)
A shrill shrew of a woman endlessly cribs to our taxi driver -
- until she turns into a bird (hen?) in his imagination.
(Hey, where are you going from? Don't you know the way? Show me the meter first. Don't I know your ways? Do you think I am mad?)
Now, watch the wickedness below at MySpace -
- or head over to YouTube.
And, when you step into a taxi in Mumbai next time - take a long hard look at the driver - you might be in for a ride with The Devil!
Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.
Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Horn OK Please, Mumbai, Bombay, Taxi, Video
Sunday, November 05, 2006
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Donna Sonia |
The one in which Mahendra Singh Dhoni experiments with his hairstyle, Shohaib Akhtar admits to doping, topless village women plough the fields to woo the Rain God and Sonia Gandhi and Manmohan Singh are caught on candid camera at Broadbay Bar. Cyrus Broacha presents "Donna Sonia", a "The Week That Wasn't" special - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Sonia Gandhi, Manmohan SinghSG: So, Emanuello...
Donna Sonia indeed!
MS: Madam, Manmohan, Manmohan...
SG: Yes, yes. Tell me, do you have any view on how to do this re-shuffle?
MS: Madam, no idea, absolutely no idea.
SG: All right, all right. Show me those who have been loyal.
MS: Loyal...
SG: Quickly, quickly, Emanuello, err, Manmohan...
MS: Loyal... (hands her a pack of cards)
SG: See how we do. We shuffle, (shuffles the cards) and then we reshuffle.
MS: Oh! I see!
SG: (throws cars on the table) External Affairs - Pranob! Information - Ambrish! Defence - Antonio! Labour - Oscar! Santino! Lutiano! Paolo! Emmanuello!
MS: Manmohan... Manmohan... Madam, I am already Prime Minister.
SG: Oh, shut up Emanuello, and stir my tea.
MS: Yes Madam... Madam... (stirs the tea). Madam! Can I ask you a question?
SG: Hmmm?
MS: What so we do with the hundreds who are waiting for portfloios?
SG: Emanuello, with them we play the game of "Patience".
Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.
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The Devil's Wicked Smile |
The Devil thinks that HappyDent ads are very very wicked. The Devil liked the first one, and fell in love with the second one - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Advertising, HappyDent
The one in which HappyDent lights up a photographer's studio -
The one in which Happydent lights up an entire haveli (an entire city?) -
What next? HappyDent lights up Heaven and Hell?
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
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Humdum, Mere Humdum |
These two desi guys have all the right moves, and an uncanny ability to make funny faces. The Devil wonders how many women threw themselves at these two after they watched the video - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Dance Videos, Bollywood Remixes
Except that, they do look a little gay, these two, don't they?
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
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Her Eyes, Her Eyes |
So, you have watched a million funny Bollywood dance videos, and half a million funny parodies of Bollywood dance videos. Still, you haven't watched it all, until you have watched this. Sometimes, even The Devil shuts up and watches in awe -
The part where he searches for 'her' - priceless!
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
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Desi Superman Dance Videos |
The one in which Megha discovers two funny Indian Superman videos and wonders if she should put on a Spiderwoman costume herself -
Starring Govinda as Superman and Kimi Katkar as Spiderwoman -
Starring NTR as Superman and Jayaprada as damsel-in-distress -
And if you think that you have seen everything now, close your eyes and imagine... Govinda and NTR dancing together in their Superman costumes.
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
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The Senile Fool Meets The Wicked Woman |
The one in which Ram Jethmalani calls Sagarika Ghosh from CNN-IBN "sweetheart", "silly" and "an ignoramus", all in one breath. He looked like an old senile fool, and she looked like the cat who got the cream. Watch the video here and read the transcript here - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Ram Jethmalani, Jessica LallWho the hell is the press to decide who is indefensible?
Wicked, wicked woman!
Who the hell are you to decide? What right do you have? Have you heard the witnesses? Have you read the evidence?
You don’t know the rule of the law, you don’t know democracy; you don’t know anything.
Who are the citizens of India? You are not the repositories of the citizens of India.
You are illiterate and you don’t know what you are talking about. Don’t persist in asking the same silly question?
Please don’t talk of this bull shit to me. I know what my Lakshman Rekhas are.
Please don’t waste my time. I will not discuss evidence with you. That is to be discussed with the court.
I don’t want to waste time with an ignoramus.
No, you are wrong. You don’t even know your facts. You’re trying to do big things without knowing what you are doing.
Look sweetheart, now don’t ask me to start a tuition class for you.
Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
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Desi Husband's American Booty Call |
Desi woman Jasmine calls 'The Super Snake Show' on Kiss FM to find out whether her husband Raj is cheating on her. Guess what? He is. Much amusement follows (audio clip)- Hi, this is Raj. How can I be of assistance to you? (when Snake calls him to offer free tickets to the Beyonce concert)
What a man! What an audio clip!
OK, put this message: "Dear Nikki. Thank you for showing me the ways of American love. You are my favorite booty call." She will understand what I mean.(when Snake asks him to put a message for his partner on the ticket)
Sir, there's someone on the line. It sounds somewhat like my wife. (when his wife asks him: "Raj! Who is Nikki?")
The American women, they use the mouth. You don't use the mouth. (when his wife asks him why)
No, the man does not use the mouth, the woman does. And twenty-five percent of the time, you are on the periodical anyway. (when his wife says that he doesn't use the mouth either)
But why are you laughing so hard? (to his wife, when he hears snake laugh in the background)
Yes, I'm in IT support department. (to his wife, when she says that she moved to the US for his career)
Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
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LadiesMan & ToyBoy |
Who hasn't wanted to be a superhero at some point of time? Mitali goes one step ahead and dreams up superheroes who have powers perfectly adapted to her specific needs -LADIESMAN: Comes over with lots of booze, listens, commiserates, and encourages you to lie back and watch chick flick DVDs while he presses your feet and does the laundry. Superpower: He’s super-sensitive. Sometimes works as a team with TOYBOY, though the latter is very busy.
The inside story is that The Devil is also a superhero in disguise and ToyBoy and LadiesMan are merely The Devil's manifestations.
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
Monday, October 30, 2006
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Damn, It's Gonna Blow! |
What happens when four guys in a barbershop listen to the radio while they wait for their turn? They pick up a harmonium and make a hip-hop video! Presenting before you, the very wicked Vallavan (link via Chandru) - Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Music Videos, Vallavan
Now, will somebody translate this for me!?!
Wicked Meter Rating: 8/10.
Friday, October 27, 2006
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Why Good Girls Dig Bad Boys |
Sudhish and Shonali on why good girls dig bad boys in their wicked wicked series 'He Says, She Says' -He has a snarling tiger tattooed across his gasp-worthy biceps. His hair hasn't seen a shampoo bottle in weeks, and looks like its been chewed by his pet dog (who's probably called Tarantula). He wears a black leather jacket that's evidently seen happier times. And zooms about town on a wicked-looking bike. Of course, he's irresistible.
The Devil, as you know, is the original bad boy! More power to bad boys!
Wicked Meter Rating: 8/10.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
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Welcome to the Laddoo Shop |
Inspired by 50 Cent's 'Candy Shop', a desi couple makes a music video called 'Laddoo Shop' -
Now, the guy is a geek, and not wicked at all, but the woman is hot hot hot!
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
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Older Men & Vampires |
Rimi shares her deepest, darkest sexual fantasies with a woman journalist who is... well... a little overwhelmed -Rimi: (bites her lips) I like older men. You know? Really older men. And… I have these force fantasies about them.
And I haven't even talked about the part where they talk about vampires!
The woman journalist's jaw drops. Her high-powered glasses slip down her sweaty nose a fraction of a centimetre making the (uncovered) upper half of her eyes bulge, but she doesn’t even notice.
Rimi: (with fake hurriedness) It’s not what you think! I don’t want them to rape me! Strictly speaking (knowing 'bad girl' smile). But you know (drops voice) I want them to have complete power, total control over me. I’d love to be like a slave to their merest whims... only sexually, of course.
Woman Journalist: (gulps) Er...Uh-hum... Um...
Rimi: Plus, most of these men would be married, with kids, probably. So there won’t be those leechy issues with emotional involvement. You know?
Woman Journalist: You mean, you don’t want to get married? Having children is not one of your fantasies?
BTW, Rimi, The Devil likes vampires too!
Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.
Monday, October 23, 2006
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A Rabbit in the Bedroom |
eM really pushes the envelope in a post about... err... ahem... you know... (Ah! even The Devil blushes sometimes!) -Sex is fun, sure, but if you're at a certain stage in your life and/or you're a little bit picky about who you allow to see you naked, there's only so much action you can get anyway. And though (whisper) masturbation (unwhisper) is something everyone does and no one talks about, it just makes you feel sadder and lonelier and a little bit more like a loser, if your Saturday night involves a Bacardi breezer and Anais Nin. It's a little bit closer to admitting to old age and death and the fact that eventually you're going to be huge and obese and your butt cheeks are going to meld into your leather arm chair and they will find you, with Cheetos spilt everywhere, an inquisitive cockroach on your nose, dead, with your mouth hanging open and your underwear around your knees.
More power to 'Sex & The City'! More power to 'The Rabbit!' The Devil is delighted!
Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.

