Breaking Ground by Taking Off Clothes

Siddhartha at Sepia Mutiny previews the "Sexy South Asian Girls of 2007" bikini calendar from DesiClub.com -

Connoisseurs of the genre will also note the blend of representational approaches taken from white and black girlie pubs, although all the models but one are rather light skinned, surprise surprise. The text seems to follow the standard format with models listing their hobbies (which include "bubble baths," "wearing stilettos," "eating cupcakes," "partying," and "shopping, shopping and more shopping") and aspirations (similar).

Saroosh Gull, publisher of DesiClub.com says that -

...our main objective in producing this calendar was to showcase the beauty of South Asian women and to project an image to the mainstream market that South Asian women are just as "American," being beautiful, attractive and capable in the mainstream fashion and modelling world as Latinas, Blacks, Whites and other Asians, if not more so. By advancing with this agenda, we are doing something that has never been done before, which makes this entire project and the impact it will have truly ground breaking.

Breaking ground by taking off clothes is not a new idea, by the way. Check out the IT Screen Goddess Calendar which was brought out in August last year to -

...Smash through the perception of the geeky technologist and raise awareness of the diversity of Women in IT...

Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Desi Babes, Bikini Calendar

In Defense of Indian Men

According to a BBC report, a survey of more than 1,000 men in India has found that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men. In fact, more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms. Biswanath defends Indian men and remembers a wicked anecdote -

At a sex shop in London's Soho area, I once saw a bunch of young girls choosing from among colourful dildos -- they could have been in a bookshop browsing through Jeffrey Archers and Sidney Sheldons. Finally they found the right one -- gleefully so -- and got it gift-wrapped: perhaps a birthday gift for a friend. I don't know whether their choice was based on length or girth -- or maybe both -- but I still remember the colour of the fake you-know-what: pink!

The Devil also recommends earlier posts on the correlation between war and condom sales and the rabbit.

Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Condoms, Sex Toys

Stalinmon, Leninmon & Mao Tse Tungmon

Have you ever wondered why so many Mallu names end in "mol" and "mon"? Did you know that Stalinmon, Leninmon and Mao Tse Tungmon are brothers? Flaash Gordon writes a beginner's guide to Mallu names (via DesiPundit)-

There's an unwritten code that you have to make sure the name has enough similar rhyming names ; or the non-rhyming one feels cut-off from the family tree. You cannot call the first one Bejoy; the second one Rejoy but the third one Avaraachan. Avaraachan would then be victim of apartheid within his family and the mental scars it leaves would make him do something tragic in life such as say, become a teetotaller or worse; go to work on a hartal day!

And finally, have you ever wondered what Osama Bin Laden has to do with a post on Mallu names? Find out.

Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Mallu, Kerala

Wicked Little Black Dresses

Like a lot of other wickedness, Chandru is behind this one. It all started when he sent Amit a link to Top 10 Affordable Little Black Dresses for Plus-Size Women, and started off a debate on big vs small -

Amit digs big -

Listen, big asses are glorious things. Abundant hips are joyous. No man has ever complained about a woman being too chesty. All you dieting women out there, on the orders of India Uncut, instantly go and consume a chocolate. And an ice-cream. A gellato, while you're at it. What's that, jalebi? Go right ahead! Let today be your Eat-For-Happiness Day.

- while Saket is all for small -

Melon sized boobs are so ugly. That is the reason I never liked Pamela Anderson (or Rakhi Sawant even). Thats the reason I don’t prefer porn made by Vivid Video. Big boobs mean distorted nipples. Lots of large chested women have all-aeriole and no nipple. And that sucks, seriously (Err… to be more precise, that is actually more difficult to suck). I think small but shapely breasts are yummy. Size can go to hell. As an afterthought, I think I would love to have sex with Kate Moss. Is there something wrong with that?

Well, small or big, a little black dress is a little black dress and a little black dress is a wicked thing indeed.

Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Breasts, Rakhi Sawant, Kate Moss, Pamela Anderson

Global Orgasm for World Peace

Next time you are having an orgasm, think of world peace. Oz takes off some time from his blondes and tells you why -

And now you know why oz is at peace all the time… the key to peace in you, in your neighbor, in your neighbor’s neighbor, your local mohalla, your town, your city, your state, your country, your world… have orgasms at one go… the world over… (link)

The mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy. The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. The combination of high- energy orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers. (link)

Ooh! World peace! Ooohhh! World peace! Oooooohhhhhh! World peace!

Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Global Orgasm, Weird

Burger King Outsources Ordering to India

What if Burger king outsourced its ordering to India? Or, how difficult it is to order a 'value meal #3 without onions' at Burger King?

Employee: Thanking for calling Gateway. How may I help you?
Customer: What?
Employee: Sorry, I read my card incorrectly. Welcome to Burger Kings. May I take your order?
Customer: Are you inside a call centre or something?
Employee: A call centre sir. May I suggest the new parmesan chicken?
Customer: OK, how are you taking my order from a call centre? What happened to LaMont?
Employee: Sir, I don't know who Mr. LaMont is. Would you like to try our bacon cheese chicken?
Customer: Have you even eaten a bacon cheese chicken before?
Employee: No, sir, I do not eat pork.
Customer: Burger King outsources its call centre to...
Employee: India sir. And just the order taking is outsourced. Your order will still be filled by a higher priced and lazy American.
Customer: Like LaMont?
Employee: I don't know who LaMont is, sir.

Takeaways will never be the same again!

Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Burger King, Outsourcing

The Devil is an Equal Opportunity Lover

How is dating a Mumbai boy different from dating a Delhi/ Chennai/ Bangalore boy? Ideasmith writes the ultimate guide to dating men from different cities -

The Chennai boy: Very polite and courteous but he doesn’t open doors or pull out our chairs for us; he doesn’t seem to realize that’s what passes for chivalry in some places. He also apologizes each time a friend of his mentions alcohol or meat, but after a long conversation with this Mumbai girl, figures he should treat her like one of the guys and lets us in on the secrets of his booze binges and parties cooking chicken in buckets behind the hostels. We finds all that very funny but we is not in the least bit amused to know that he thinks we is the wild, wanton Mumbai girl, and tells his family (and soon our family) that.

The Devil is an equal opportunity lover; The Devil likes all women, period.

Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, MumbaiBombay, Delhi, KolkataBangalore, Chennai, Dating, Men&Women

The Papdits Revisited

The Devil first blogged about 'The Papdits' almost ten days back, but couldn't watch the pilot episode (it is available for viewing only in the US). Now, 'The Papdits' is out on YouTube and The Devil's verdict is that it is wickedness itself.


The opening titles has a catchy tune -



The Kenya born Nitin Ganatra plays Gopi, the head of the family, with delightful wickedness. Ganatra has appeared in Mistress of Spices (2005) as Haroun, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) as Prince Pondicherry and Bride & Prejudice (2004) as Mr. Kohli. Priya Ayyar plays wife Ritsi and delivers deadly dialogue with deadpan innocence. Madhur Jaffrey plays Ritsi's mother, but has little to do in the pilot episode.


The Papdits start off by going houseboat shopping and scandalize the houseboat rental manager by sharing too much family history -

Ritsi: (referring to her daughter Sita) She's very good swimmer. When she was baby, she is falling from bridge into the river and she swimming all the way back to shore. We don't know how she got out of sack.

Manager: That's an awful... (realizes the sack's significance) okay.

Gopi: Tell me, how deep is this water?

Manager: Well, generally speaking, it can go anywhere from ten feet to hundred feet of water.

Gopi: I see. So if, for example, (referring to his mother-in-law) you are an old lady and you're falling in the water and you're a little bit weak, and maybe taken too much Valium, with no life preserver, she could possibility die.

Manager: There's always the possibility. You may want to take precautions for that.

Gopi: No need. No need.

The Papdits visit a counsellor to become the future business leaders of America -

Ritsi: Recently Bhaskar is having an idea to start a business.

Counselor: What is your idea?

Bhaskar: My idea is to start a business.

Counsellor: (Awkward silence) Okay. Excellent.

Ritsi: My husband is a very good businessman. In the last year, he started about eighteen businesses...

Counsellor: Oh! Wow! That's great!

Ritsi: ... three are still going this year. (More awkward silence)

Gopi and son Bhaskar try being caddies and much awkwardness follows -

Bhaskar: (As golfer readies himself to hit the ball) Hit... hit...

Golfer: (Finger on lips) When you're hitting... in golf... real quiet... okay?

Bhaskar: Okay. (Shouts as Golfer hits the ball) Do it!

Gopi: You hit tree!

Ritsi shows them how it is done in India at the home interior party -

Ritsi: (Takes out a letter and reads it out to the hostess) My husband has given me note which says "I, Gopi, have issued my wife five dollars to have fun night out and to gossip with other housewives, and buy trinkets for RV. Please count money (Hostess counts) and sign it is five dollars as proof she has not stolen from me." Please sign here. (Hostess signs)

Ritsi tries to sell Tupperware food containers to her neighbours -

Ritsi: Today we will be selling a brand new product, called the food storage contained. they are made from special type of glass called plastic. These are all very useful for keeping food for surprise visitor, or in time of famine. For example, you are eating one Dorito chip, you only want to have (takes a bite), you can put it back, cover, remove lid, fresh!

The Devil is all eyes for the next episode, but there isn't likely to be one -

Unfortunately, the pilot is going to suffer from both Borat comparisons and from being late to the single-camera, improv party. The Papdits is worth a look, but it's tough when there are so many shows out there doing aspects of what The Papdits is trying to do, but better. (link)

Wicked Meter Rating: 9/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, The Papdits, Desis on TV

The Brown Male Nurse & the Hospital with $50K Dummy Patients

When one of his Desi friends enrolled for a nursing major, Mezba wondered why - a brown male nurse, after all, is quite a stereotype buster - until he figured out the side benefits of being in nursing school -

Over 90% of his fellow students were female. And probably 3% of the remaining 10 were gay, and 2.5% in relationships.

Equally interesting is the mock hospital story -

These dummies, each worth over 50,000 dollars, could actually simulate symptoms of most diseases, have heart attacks, even ask for water. If not cared for properly, they could even die.

Wicked Meter Rating: 6/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Careers, Stereotypes

The Devil & The Deity

First, King Emma at Ultrabrown wrote a post about Brazilian artist Roberto Custodio's rather risque portrayal of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, then Beau Peep pointed out the use of Kali in a Bayer mosquito repellent ad, prompting The Devil to do a post on wicked depictions of Hindu deities in popular culture.

To start with, The Devil thinks that the Bayer ad is quite cool and not at all offensive -

Here the goddess has been depicted with several arms as she has been depicted traditionally but the second frame shows that when Bayer’s effect comes into play the goddess does not need several arms to keep mosquito away and your hands are free. (link)

The Roberto Custodio paintings, however, are more tricky.

Well, methinks Krishna is definitely in the mood and Shiva, whose face might possibly belong to Disney’s Aladdin, is already getting his groove on with that lingam. (link)

The male Gods are indeed presented as -

light-skinned, muscle-bound and possibly, horny, cutouts (link)

Shiva

Krishna

Hanuman

- and the female Goddesses look like ennui-laden divas -

Radha

Saraswati

Roberto Custodio is a lucky man - the people at Hindu Janajagruti Samiti have not spammed him yet. Robin Foley, an American sculptor who specializes in something called 'soft sculpture', was not as lucky when her semi-nude Durga doll became the center of controversy -

Robin Foley was not ready to withdraw the images and instead threatened to complain to the FBI. The threat did not intimidate the protestors; they replied back saying "You are free to call the entire US army" and "FBI is not greater than Goddess Durga and Lord Ganesha". Due to increasing protests Robin Foley finally removed the main image of Goddess Durga from her website and stated that she will not distribute the images of Goddess Durga even personally. (link)

Do note that Foley has put up nude images of Durga instead of the Durga doll, presumably to protest against the protestors.

The Hindu Janajagruti Samiti website, by the way, is a treasure-trove of such controversial depictions of deities. The Devil thinks that they define offensiveness so broadly that their protests have no meaning. They also have absolutely no sense of humour.

In some cases, though, such depictions are indeed difficult to defend - US artist Teresa Bergen's depiction of Shiva, Brahma, Narad and Nataraja as animals, for instance (link) -

- or paintings by Nasik based artist Dhyanesh Sonar, which depict Radha and Krishna in various amorous situations (link) -



- although, when you do think of it, when did Gods and Goddesses in India become asexual?

At the other extreme, The Devil thinks that the Durga poster displayed at an Athens bar is kitschy pop art at worst, and not really offensive (link) -

- and the International Herald Tribune's Bushiva cartoon (link) and MidDay's Osama Bin Ganesha cartoons are truely hilarious (link).

The Devil is also wondering what to make of Virgin Comic's Devi -

An avatar conceived by the Gods once again to stop the renegade God Bala, Devi is a sleek and sexy seductress that has been dispatched to the modern city of Sitapur on her latest quest. Now incarnated into a human vessel however, this Devi starts to discover a longing that none before her have ever experienced, the desire to be human. (link)

Devi’s fascination for Rahul, her increasing desire not to save humanity but to save him, not to exorcise Sitapur’s demons, but to exorcise his, now fuels her quest. This is not the story of a girl who wanted to be the Goddess but rather the Goddess who longed to be a girl. (link)

The Devil thinks Devi is uber-cool but Hindu Janajagruti Samiti might not agree, because, as King Emma says -

Seriously, who doesn’t want to see a woman share title with the mother of all Goddesses while wearing leather and falling in love with alcoholics? (link)

And finally, what about the MTV Desi Goddess? Is it sacrilege too?

Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Popular Culture, Sacrilege, Devi, Krishna, Shiva, Hanuman, Radha, Saraswati, Ganesha, George Bush, Osama Bin Laden, Virgin Comics

Searching for Janina, Part One

The Devil first met Janina, aka Ms Dewey, at Sepia Mutiny, when Abhi confessed his undying devotion to her -

I have found comfort in the arms of Ms. Dewey. She is the strong, beautiful, witty, articulate (sometimes verbose), and smarter-than-me desi woman I’ve been searching for my whole life. If any of you fools linger too long on her site I will hurt you.

The Devil spent some time with Ms. Dewey today and was much impressed. She is all that Abhi said she was, and more.

The first thing you notice about Ms. Dewey is that she has a low boredom threshold.


When you don't type in something for a while, she looks bored, then leans forward and knocks on the screen -

Knock, knock, knock. Anyone there?

If that doesn't work, she points to the search box -

Helloooo! Type something here!

If even that doesn't work, she throws a lasso - or a bait - at you and pulls you in (as if you were not more than willing to walk behind her voluntarily)!


Ms Dewey is also very ambitious -

Keep asking questions. The more you ask, the more I know. And soon I will rule the world. Hahahahahahahaha... Hmmm... Ahm...

Ms Dewey doesn't only have a mind of her own, she is also willing to speak her mind. Try typing in "Yo Mama" or "Ho" -



Otherwise, Ms. Dewey has about half a dozen wicked responses to your every query.

Ask her "Are you bored?" and she is dismissive -

A1. (Appears wearing glasses and writes on a clipboard) And how does that make you feel?
A2. (Yawns) Last time I was this bored, I didn't even exist!
A3. You know, you can ask me anything at all, and you are going to waste it with a question like that. Tchch.
A4. You're kidding, right? Hey Ricardo, come have a look at what this guy did a search for!
A5. Somebody needs to get a hobby, like, let's say, something interesting.

Take a chance and say "Kiss me!" and she'll Almost flirt back with you -

A1. I'm sorry. Did you think this was girlwhodoeswhateveryouwant.com? Because that is simply not the case.
A2. (The screen dims down) You know, we are having such a nice time and then you go and say something like that. Behave yourself and we can continue. If not... Now, do we have an understanding?
A3. I bet you say that to all the many many many virtual girls you have met online.
A4. It's time to get naked. Not me silly, you!
A5. I'm not drunk enough to listen to that right now.

Test the limits a little with "Dress up as a nurse!" and she'll behave somewhat weirdly -

A1. (It starts raining) Oh, oh no! This is couture, people!
A2. (Reads a book) They say, don't judge a book by its cover, unless of course you are talking about me, in which case your judgement will be 100% on target.
A3. So, let me get this straight. If I gained 40 pounds and dressed like a man, the academy will come calling! Ricardo, bring on the stacked steak-burger.
A4. Method acting is another way of saying "Show up at the set drunk and do whatever the fuck you want". Well, it works for me.
A5. (Flashes a pistol) I could finish you off now, but it's only the second reel. (Smiles) I had a boyfriend who liked me to say that.

Now, really push the envelope by asking her to "Take off your clothes!" and she'll suprprise you -

A1. Ok, take off your clothes. All of them. Yes, the socks too. Now, fold them neatly and toss it all out the window, ok? There. (pushes a red button to call the cops.)
A2. Well, maybe just this once (takes off two buttons teasingly before a 'video buffering' message shows up)
A3. I'm pretty sure that you can be arrested in 38 countries for just thinking something like that.
A4. Porn? On the internet? Heh! You're kidding, right?
A5. Hey, if you can get inside your computer, you can do whatever you want to me!

But ask her someting innocuous like "Eat a banana!" and she... well... misunderstands you...

A1. You know what they say about dating these days - it's a jungle out there. Sadly, from here it looks as if your jungle has been clear cut, South American style.
A2. Nerd looking through a pub window at people who actually have a life.
A3. Another guy asked me something like that once. I don't think they ever found him.
A4. There are farm animals who don't do that kind of a thing. What makes you think I would?
A5. (Slowly unskins a banana and eats it) What? I'm Hypoglycaemic!

Well, women will be women, after all!

In an interview with Nirali Magazine, Janina says -

I’m definitely not Ms. Dewey. She was just words on a paper in an audition. I think when I auditioned, she was much more normal. When I got there she just escalated into this uber-snotty, I’m-not-amused character.

When asked about her favorite responses as Ms Dewey, Janina replies -

I love the cowboy western — have you seen that one? I love the gun one, she’s got a bunch of gun responses. She has manservant, and his name is Ricardo — I had so much fun with my manservant. He just happens to be this beautiful model. He ended up being the sweetest guy, and just up for anything.

Ms Dewey is really quite something, isn't she? But, while Ms. Dewey might have all the answers at her fingertips, The Devil found out that Janina Gavankar is the real deal.

Coming up next - Searching for Janina, Part Two.

Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Ms Dewey, Janina Gavankar

Horn OK Please, or The Devil Drives a Taxi

After watching 'Horn OK Please' (via Ultrabrown and DesiPundit) The Devil wants to take a week's vacation from work and drive around a taxi in Mumbai! Such endless possibilities for wickedness!

'Horn OK Please' is a nine minute film inspired by director Joel Simon´s journey in the heat and frenzy of Mumbai. It follows a monotonous day in the life of an Indian taxi driver whose goal is to earn enough rupees to buy the air-conditioned taxi of his dreams. (link)

The film, with its multitude of curious characters, is a montage of the madness that is Mumbai. However, even in this treasure trove of wickedness, two scenes stand out -

A rather shady looking man woos a woman in the backseat of the taxi -

Jaaneman, main tumhe dil aur jaan se chaahta hoon. Tumhari yeh bhari aankh, yeh bhari naak, yeh bhare hoonth... main chumma lena chahta hoon!

(My life, my heart, I love you more than my life. Your full eyes, your full nose, your full lips... I want to kiss you!)

- but is frustrated when our taxi driver honks the horn at the crucial moment. Such a sadist!

A shrill shrew of a woman endlessly cribs to our taxi driver -

Arre, kahan se ja rahen hain aap? Idhar se jaa rahein hai ki udhar se jaa rahein hai. Aapko maloom nahin hai kya? Arre meter kahan hai dikhaiye, pahle. Hamein maloom nahin hai kya? Hamein pagal samajh ke rakha hai kya?

(Hey, where are you going from? Don't you know the way? Show me the meter first. Don't I know your ways? Do you think I am mad?)

- until she turns into a bird (hen?) in his imagination.

Now, watch the wickedness below at MySpace -



- or head over to YouTube.

And, when you step into a taxi in Mumbai next time - take a long hard look at the driver - you might be in for a ride with The Devil!

Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Horn OK Please, Mumbai, Bombay, Taxi, Video

The Morality of Eating Beef & Raping Cows

According to a Mid-Day report, the Guna police has booked three people under Section 377 (unnatural offences) of the Indian Penal Code, after arresting them for having sexual intercourse with a cow. Cow enthusiast and eminent blogger Amit says that raping a cow is only as immoral as eating beef -

Of course, this case is somewhat complicated, because the cow cannot be said to have consented, or even to be capable of consent. As far as I am concerned, the only crime in this case is a property-rights violation, assuming that the cow did not belong to one of the three men in question. Even then, would you sue a guy who rubbed himself up against your car?

For cow lovers appalled at my inability to defend the rights of the cow in question, I can just shrug and look down in embarrassment. I'm a lapsed vegetarian, who believed that causing pain to animals was wrong. But I eat meat now, and I can come with 100,000 pathetic rationalisations for it. If the cow in this story was to come before me and look my way with accusing eyes, I'd simply say, "I'm sorry, but it wasn't me who did that to you, and it isn't you I'll be having for dinner tonight."

Et tu, Amit?

Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Section 377, Bestiality

The Papdits

Guess what all the ABCD type blogs (Turbanhead, Nirali, Sepia Mutiny & Ultrabrown) are talking about today? The Papdits. Written by Ant Hines, the co-writer of 'Borat' and 'Da Ali G Show', The Papdits is finally out of two years of development hell and airing on CBS's Innertube streaming platform -

A Kashmiri family is criss-crossing the US searching for the American dream with a camera crew on their tails. Gopi, the outspoken husband and father, believes America is the land of opportunity and sees himself as Donald Trump in an RV. Their future, he believes, is in crystal. He's just not quite sure what that is, or if it's legal. The family's first stop is Mount Ida, Arkansas, where wife Ritshi tries to become one of the local girls by hosting a neighbourhood Tupperware party, and son Bhaskar has some trouble handling a job as a caddy at the local country club. Can the Papdits make a life in America? Check it out. (link)

While The Devil couldn't watch the pilot episode - it's available for viewing only in the US - do watch it here and let The Devil know if you liked it.

Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Papdits, Pop Culture

Christmas in Asia Minor

After The Office Diwali Song, it's time for the Indian Christmas Carol album! Boymongoose's debut album 'Christmas in Asia Minor', to be released on November, covers topics as diverse as insufficient dowries, internet dating, Bollywood hunks, corrupt child sport-stars and angels with amazing I.T. skills (via Sepia Mutiny) -

Here's a sneak preview of the madness that is their song '12 days of Christmas' -

On my twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, twelve cricket ball tamperers ("I was simply correcting the stitching!"), eleven silver names, ten minute yoga, nine telemarketers, eight Bollywood films, seven-eleven workers, six IT graduates, five minutes of fame, four Hare Krishnas, three butter chickens, two nosey in-laws, and a totally insufficient dowry.

And here's the video -



What time-pass wickedness!

Wicked Meter Rating: 8/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Boymongoose, Christmas in Asia Minor

Return of the Desi Superman

If you thought that you had seen the last of the Desi Superman in the Desi Superman Dance Videos, you were wrong. Manish from Ultrabrown discovers some more Desi Superman masterpieces (here, here and here) -

Goodness Gracious Me on why Superman is an Indian -

Superman is an Indian! You have seen the movies. He runs faster than a speeding train. There's only one country where you can run faster than a speeding train.

And what about Clark Kent? Clark Kent! National health glasses. Bad haircut. Go to Calcutta and you'll see millions of civil servants dressed like Clark Kent!

Think about it yaar! He has two jobs. Indian! Never takes a day off work. Indian! And how does he get about? Cheap flights! Indian!

When you re-cut 'Harold and Kumar' with the Superman soundtrack, the result is Harold and Kal-El Return to the White Castle -



The Dharmendra-as-Superman clip, however, gave The Devil a headache.

Wicked Meter Rating: 8/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Superman, Kal Penn, Goodness Gracious Me, Dharmendra

Why Men Should Wear Burqas

Now that an almost insane number of blog posts have been written about whether women should wear burqas, it is about time that someone wondered if men should. Twisted DNA on why men should wear burqas -

- Your wife won't nag you saying "Didn't you wear the same shirt yesterday?"
- Nobody will know where you are looking. Just saying, not that you will check out girls or anything.
- 'Dressing up' for dinner only involves wearing formal shoes. These events will be called 'black shoelace events'.

The Devil's imagination is vivid with wicked possibilities.

Wicked Meter Rating: 8/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Burqa, Satire

Sexed-Up Su-Do-Ku

First, it was "The Tabloid of India", then the other North Indian dailies followed, and, now, even the so far staid South Indian newspapers are falling in line. Anand Ramachandran reviews the new, improved, tabloid-like Deccan Chronicle -

Sexed-Up Su-Do-Ku – In their crazed efforts to give sex appeal to every square inch of DC, the editors present a new take on the annoyingly popular Su-Do-Ku puzzle. Instead of boring old grids and numbers, the puzzle will now simply feature a blurred picture of a swimsuit model downloaded from the net. At last, all those who are too dumb to solve Su-Do-Ku can now enjoy the popular craze.

The Deccan Chronicle, it seems, is learning from DesiBlogging. Who wants to read boring filter blogs - err, newspapers - anyway?

Wicked Meter Rating: 7/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Deccan Chronicle, Journalism

Donna Sonia

The one in which Mahendra Singh Dhoni experiments with his hairstyle, Shohaib Akhtar admits to doping, topless village women plough the fields to woo the Rain God and Sonia Gandhi and Manmohan Singh are caught on candid camera at Broadbay Bar. Cyrus Broacha presents "Donna Sonia", a "The Week That Wasn't" special -

SG: So, Emanuello...
MS: Madam, Manmohan, Manmohan...
SG: Yes, yes. Tell me, do you have any view on how to do this re-shuffle?
MS: Madam, no idea, absolutely no idea.
SG: All right, all right. Show me those who have been loyal.
MS: Loyal...
SG: Quickly, quickly, Emanuello, err, Manmohan...
MS: Loyal... (hands her a pack of cards)
SG: See how we do. We shuffle, (shuffles the cards) and then we reshuffle.
MS: Oh! I see!
SG: (throws cars on the table) External Affairs - Pranob! Information - Ambrish! Defence - Antonio! Labour - Oscar! Santino! Lutiano! Paolo! Emmanuello!
MS: Manmohan... Manmohan... Madam, I am already Prime Minister.
SG: Oh, shut up Emanuello, and stir my tea.
MS: Yes Madam... Madam... (stirs the tea). Madam! Can I ask you a question?
SG: Hmmm?
MS: What so we do with the hundreds who are waiting for portfloios?
SG: Emanuello, with them we play the game of "Patience".

Donna Sonia indeed!

Wicked Meter Rating: 10/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Sonia Gandhi, Manmohan Singh

Finally! The Office Diwali Song Video!

The Devil first heard it at Nirali Magazine, and thought that it was very wicked. Now, it's up on YouTube and The Devil told you first. Presenting before you, "The Diwali Song" from NBC's hit show "The Office" -

Diwali is a festival of lights.
Let me tell you something - tonight has been one crazy night.
So, put on your saris.
It's time to celebrate Diwali.
And everybody looks so jolly.
But it's not Christmas Eve, it's Diwali.
The Goddess of Destruction - Kali -
Stopped by to celebrate Diwali.
Don't invite any zombies
To a celebration of Diwali.
Along came Polly,
To have some fun at Diwali.
If you are Indian and you love Diwali,
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Diwali.
Happy Diwali!

And, yes, while you listen to this song, don't forget that it's a tribute to "one of the greats - Mr. Adam Sandler".

Wicked Meter Rating: 8/10.

Technorati Tags: Desi, Wicked, Funny, Diwali Song, The Office